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02 June 2004 @ 11:57 pm
Titillatingly Teased & Badly Blowned Hairstyles from 1984  
Strange to be snooping around an old thrift store and to stumble upon a 20 year old book that represents almost every style you ever remember girls wearing in High School.

Without further adieu I bring to you a few photos from the 1984 book, "The Hairstyle Haircare and Beauty Book" by Linda Sonntag.



Never heard of Linda Sonntag? She's also known for sex tip books and one called, Photographic Kama Sutra which has got to have some interesting photos in it.


In actuality this 80's babe would have been way too hot & old for my High School.


I forgot about this look. I know a lot of us were inspired by Cyndi Lauper & her crazy colored hairdos at the time. I use to buy this spray on color powdery crap that smeared all over everything or melted down my face & neck when I sweated. What a mess.


Eyeshadow sales where through the roof during the 80's.


Truly outrageous! Jem inspires millions!


The ever popular Obi-Wan Kenobi look. Lightsaber not included. Use the Force to explode the testicles of Star Wars geeks who are trying to stalk you.


Has it been said that enormous amounts of finger combing & mousse where used in the 80's?


I think Annie Lennox had a similar style at one time. Unfortunately in 1989 this woman was killed by an overheated curling iron that exploded after coming in contact with a jumbo sized can of Aqua Net.


Bows begone! I remember a few girls wearing these hair accessory travesties. Even back then I thought they made women look ridiculous.


I must still love the 80's because I think she looks hella, hella, hella rad!!! Kudos for the ultra 80's pink dangly diamond earrings.


It's all about the Scrunching!!! God forbid you ever got trapped in the rain, mist or fog during the 80's.


This one looks like Gina B. from school. She appeared crazy, stoned or riding a major sugar high all the time. I'll never forget the day she was absent and the teacher invaded her desk to discover ridiculously large amonts of Top Ramon, Margarine, and a large package of Jell-O.


The "out & proud" look. These days she can be seen on Vigorelle "the creme that puts the zing back into your vagina" informercials.


This brings the movie "Something about Mary" to a whole new level. Most women's hair gets to look like this after the making of their first 10 bukkake videos. I'm thinking you could ride her into space with her winged hair handles.


Sure loads of mousse, gel, and intense hair coloring won't destroy your hair. Nevermind that 20 years later she's as bald as Patrick Stewart or the late Yul Brenner.


Ah those gravity defying hairstyles. Please don't try this at home without the help of several gay professionals.


The upscale mullet. At my school she definitely would have been a stoner & in love with every member of Def Leppard.


I'd swear this was a young Elizabeth Hurley or Kelley LeBrock.


This one's more interesting for the ULTRA fake plastic cocktail jewelry girls would buy at Express or steal from a Chinese restaurant's chandelier that you never see women wear anymore. The other spooky thing is Sharon Osbourne STILL has this look.


Even with a pretty face she can't distract from the fact this is a horrific haircut. It's funny to see that crazy huge hair bang was popular even in women's hairstyles. I had one that I grew super long in High School in honor of my idols Duran Duran. The popularity of the band much like my youth soon faded.


This one would have been one of the bitchy girls at school with cool geometric shaped black mod purses, but they'd stare you down with evil looks & only date thrasher punks wearing steel toe boots. I'd imagine she's married to an alcoholic, has 3 bratty kids, and looks nothing like her hot self from 20 years ago. She probably curses everytime she has to change a pad in her trailer's closet sized crapper.


Many cholo women still do their hair like this. I'm also digging the fake faux Leopard that seemed to pop up on everything in the 80's from jackets to purses to shoes.


The ice princess or when perms go horribly, horribly wrong. In the 80's it was all about who had the biggest, most teased out hair. Anybody remember how popular cheap vinyl clothing was too? I never owned any, but it had to get sweaty after hours of wearing.


In High School this would have been the girl who took drama all 4 years. Sometimes she'd get the twitchy, watery eye look during one of her performances. Not sure if it was part of the performance or more from the realization that there's no way with her midget height that she'd ever become mainstream famous. Last year she did star in the porno groundbreaking hit, "Sit on my midget twat while I have Amputee Anal".


Holy shit it's the reincarnation of that high school bitch named Angel. She was just the opposite of her name. There's no way I could EVER feel comfortable talking to her. I don't think I ever saw her wear anything, but black. She'd also smoke Clove Cigarettes which to me still smell incredibly good.


Classic bob haircut. It looked great then & I still think it looks cute/pretty on women. Back in the day many of the fruitier guys would get a page boy cut that was all the rage.


The angry flesh eating ballerina with psychic powers. You can't stop her with those choppers. Check out the size of those immense shoulder pads!


Sweet mother of Jesus. I'm thinking even in the 80's this woman would be made fun of for that ugly clown like hair color. The earrings were still very typical of the era. I swear my friend Marcy owned a pair just like them in the 80's.


I had to include her because of the bad sunglasses. What the Hell? How could anyone EVER think these were cool? Plus it's such a boring frumpy hairdo in a sea of creativeness.


Ah...the sexy white, gray, or silver (?) lipstick. Come on 80's chicks help me out. I know some of you must have worn this crap. The gloves reminded me that I too owned a pair of black gloves that I liked to wear because I thought it was cool. Some of them even had spikes on them or for a rebel yell look were cut off at the fingers!


The early goth look. Their mantra: I look dead & cool.


Mod girls in black dresses. I'd see armies of them at the local teen dance clubs. The higher the hair. The cooler the babe. Many were devoted fans of Depeche Mode.


People in the 80's added their own ideas to the film noire look. Most of them looked pretty ridiculous.


More elevated hair & those damn sexy gloves.


I'd imagine it took an unprecedented amount of mousse, hairspray, and a large powered hair dryer to get your hair to do this.


The sexy asian woman or is it a man baby? I think this might have been part of that Harlequin look that was popular for awhile. I had a friend that had an expensive outfit that made her look like a dead ringer for a female Bozo the clown.


I remember seeing this look on girls in school. For many the bigger the better was THE rule in earring wear. These days this hairstyle can still be seen on meth addicts, pig farmers, or North Dakota truck stop hookers.


These days they'd say she was trying to look like one of the Japanese Dragon Ball Z characters.


Another tough punker girls you'd be terrified to try & talk to. Plus there were always all those terrible stories about spikes and people losing their eyesight in the maush pit. I'm thinking she'd eat them after spiking them out.


I'm thinking she's got a baby dead racoon weaved into her hair.


More weaved in braids or dreadlocks. For true dreads you put in shampoo or other sickly liquid & skip washing your hair for months.


I like the reddish/orange highlighted haircolor. None of the girls at our school looked this hot or exotic.


Modern 80's chick in black = never fails to impress moi. I think this might be Lucy Liu during her angry teen years.


I believe she carries at least 3 or 4 pet canaries in that helmet of hair.


Of course we have to include a few cute guys into the mix. I'm thinking this he has to be related to star of Next Generation, the Curse, and adult angst blogger writer Mr. Wil Wheaton.


Young River Phoenix had a cut like this at one time. It's sort of a shaved mullet. Hell, my hair even looked similar to this for a time in the 80's.


I sooooo wanted mushroom hair just like his. I could never get it right though. Damn my many untalented hairstylists. You'd think for whopping $5 plus $1 tip they'd be able to turn my head of hair into a mushroom instead of looking like a package of rotting Brussel Sprouts.


The fluffy, new romantic look.


A cute girl named Ursula from school use to put her hair up like this. Somehow she could pull it off, but this girl looks retarded & completely ridiculous.


More weaved in braids. Gwen Stefani at times isn't too far off from her 80's roots.


I remember women at the dance clubs we went to having this look. It must have been incredibly time consuming to create.

Well...there ya have it...50 bad captions & haircuts from the 80's. Next week I'll show you how you can color & shave your pubic hair into a Rubic's Cube.
 
 
( Post a new comment )
[info]the_icequeen on June 3rd, 2004 03:03 am (UTC)
What??
Not a single snide remark about the ever popular Brook Shields caterpillar eyebrows???

I think it took as much hairspray to hold those monsters in place, as it did to hold the hair up so high.

(by the way...in case you're wondering, I had the "upscale mullet" do. And yes...I was a stoner....but, I loved Steve Tyler, David Lee Roth, and Mick Jagger. I guess for the most part, I went with the whole big lip, big mouth along with the big hair theme in the 80's. I'm so ashamed!)
[info]eyeno on June 3rd, 2004 09:34 am (UTC)
lol. That's too funny about that eyebrows. It's always cool what other people notice.

I claim that the sure number of scanned photos got to me this time & my wit was weak.

I think just about everyone went with the big hair theme in the 80's. If ya didn't you weren't very cool. I know I went through multiple cans of Aqua Net to get my hair to do unbelievably gravity defying looks.

Towards the late 80's I too had a mullet. I should track down a photo of myself. These days it would be quite laughable.
(Anonymous) on January 20th, 2006 06:25 pm (UTC)
what type of hair cut do you call this in your picture and do you know where i can get a picture of hair like this for my wifes hairdresser
(Anonymous) on June 4th, 2004 02:07 pm (UTC)
Joico ICE-Mist was my ticket to Echo and the bunnymen hair adventures. I can still smell the burning as I back-combed furiously while my friend held the blowdryer and pumped an insane amount of ICE-Mist onto my hair, forehead, hands, forearms etc. etc.
[info]eyeno on June 4th, 2004 02:24 pm (UTC)
That's too funny...yea it wasn't all just the cheap ass Aqua-Net which completely dried out your hair.

If I remember right Joico was a pretty popular brand. I wonder if they still sell it.

Ah...Echo & the Bunnymen - great group!
(Anonymous) on December 4th, 2004 10:45 pm (UTC)
you're right, hideous haircuts back then
You are so right. Most of those hairstyles were, well, YUK!
And I was right in the mix of things also with a stupid
looking haircut. You see, my father was a barber back then
(need I say more). He cut my hair into that style that was
called the "Dorothy Hamill Wedge". I hated it with a passion.
I wore that style from 9th grade through 11th grade. Then he
gave me even a more revolting haircut for 12th grade into
college --- "a mushroom haircut". Are you kidding me?
He cut my bangs up so high that, well, ok I was starting to
look like a boy. Thank god I had boobs. LOL.
Love all the pictures you provided. Thanks for all the
memories, I think?

DANIELLE
(Anonymous) on February 12th, 2006 01:01 am (UTC)
Re: you're right, hideous haircuts back then
danielle id love to chat about the haircuts your dad gave you then.
[info]72pink_cardigan on June 5th, 2004 01:01 pm (UTC)
That was fabulous! I see lots of girls that copy these looks @ the 80's club on Wednesday nights down the street from me...they actually can pull it off sometimes...utterly amazing!
I used to use this colored mousse stuff back then that for the life of me I just cannot remember the name of. The color I used was like a coppery tone, and it looked SO fake, plus it turned my hands so orange I'd have to use nail polish remover to get it off. Sexy!
Also, I would apply this garish ELECTRIC BLUE mascara, combined with the same color eyeliner, underneath my eyes, which happen to be blue...NOT quite a great combo, but it was in my experimental days, what can I say?
Finally, about the frosty silvery kinda lipstick, let's just say that this can ONLY be worn on tan or dark complexioned people. I tried out the very light gold color, and I looked dead...not cool goth, just morbid.
Thanks for that stroll down memory lane, Randy! Those definitely were some fun and daring times in fashion. :D
[info]eyeno on June 7th, 2004 12:15 am (UTC)
Yup! To quote a rather lame nostalgia show I loved the 80's!!!
(Anonymous) on September 13th, 2005 06:46 pm (UTC)
Holy hell, that is too funny! Thanks for posting all that up; I was looking for some inspiration for this years' Halloween costume, in which I'll be an 80's metal groupie. Yes, these 'do's bring back some memories, and even though I was a child/preteen of the 80's, and not a teenager, I, too, hiked up my hair and snuck some bright pink eyeshadows and lipsticks. Thanks for the laugh!
[info]structurefall on March 1st, 2007 08:48 pm (UTC)
i really, really like a bunch of those. which is probably not a good sign.
[info]threadwalker on March 1st, 2007 11:35 pm (UTC)
Hair of the eighties...
It's not just hair anymore, it's sculpture.

So glad we've left something for future generations to mimic at period events and parties.
[info]zapevaj on March 3rd, 2007 07:14 am (UTC)
Re: Hair of the eighties...
Just imagine; in 70 years they'll be having "New Wave Balls" instead of "Edwardian Balls", where costume enthusiasts will exactly re-create period garments such as tutu skirts and pegged pants, and period-accurate music will be played for the costumed attendees to dance to. Of course, a short dance lesson will be held immediately prior to the ball for those who are not familiar with period dances.
[info]threadwalker on March 3rd, 2007 07:41 am (UTC)
Re: Hair of the eighties...
That was exactly what I was picturing. :)
[info]zapevaj on March 3rd, 2007 07:57 am (UTC)
Re: Hair of the eighties...
And maybe in 20 years there will be a subculture that idolizes the 00's, the way goth culture idolizes the 80's!
(Anonymous) on March 16th, 2007 09:51 pm (UTC)
the 80thies
I really dont know what is funny!!!!!??? Every decade have some special styles..in hair, clothes, music.. That s normal. So I really don t know what s funny. You think that we will not be funny to other people for 20 years in the future!?
(Anonymous) on April 9th, 2007 02:11 pm (UTC)
id like to speak on behalf of all north dakota truck stop hookers when i say, that no self respecting truck stop skank would wear her hair like that. we may not be classy but we aint that trashy!
(Anonymous) on April 10th, 2007 03:28 am (UTC)
busted links
in both IE and Firefox the picture links are busted.
[info]victoria7 on April 10th, 2007 06:49 pm (UTC)
If'n you'd like to see what those people look like today (the rockers, not the punks), you should head over to the St. James in Belmont. If you're lucky, you'll get to see the amazing cover band, "Ready to Rock" with "Johnny Gunn"!

http://www.thegatebelmont.com/
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When I went at my daughter's high school I entered her classroom, of course. I think I saw some copies of this book on their Office Tables (http://officesupermarket.co.uk/products.php?category_name=Meeting-Office-Furniture&group_name=Office-Furniture). And yes, I find it very interesting. Indeed, it brings back memories from you high school. Oh, what times..

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